Awesome! It didn’t take long to add to yesterday’s little story. I got a reply this morning, and at 6:21 AM no less. He must have been pretty fired up about all this. Check it out:

LOL! Dude your funny. Janey said she didn’t send the message. I jumped to conclusion and I apologize. I was just stressing at the moment. I don’t know who wrote the message. But Like I said, only janey knows about me and my cousin. Well besides my cousin. But I don’t think she will want anybody to know that. Did you know a little secret about janey and her cousin paola. why don’t you ask her. When you want to make fun of my past, lets talk about janeys past. Of course she’ll deny anything. And I’m not trying to mess things up between you guys. You guys seem like a nice couple. I saw all your pictures on findmimi.com. I’m really happy she found someone to love her. Cause at one point in my life I loved her very much. I prayed to God that she would find someone special and for her to be happy. And she did. Did you know I was with her when she got the job at disneyland. I was so happy for her. I prayed and prayed the night before the auditions. The first time she didn’t get it. But they offered her a 2nd audition. She didn’t want to do it cause she was discouraged the 1st time. But I told her go for it. I’ll pray double this time and you’ll get it. And guess what, the rest is history. A week later she left me. LOL! I was a terrible boyfriend. She was a terrible girlfriend. But I loved her anyhow. almost 2 years we were together. I’ll never forget her. Just keep her happy and always be there for her like you have been. You seem like a cool guy. I love disneyland. 6 year annual pass holder. I miss fantasmic. you should know my cousin, works in alladin. she used to work at abc bistro before they closed it down.
Anyway bro sorry for the mix up. I didn’t mean to cause any problems between you and your lady. I’m sure it didn’t faze you guys at all. You seem to have a strong love for each other. Please forgive my intrusion in your guy’s life.
I’m just trying to figure out who wrote that damn email.

Sincerely,
Fabian.

Now I don’t want to go too far in deconstructing this little gem, but I at least want to point out a few fun things.

First he laughs out loud (“LOL!”). This I imagine is to show me how affable he is. After the chuckle he throws a pseudo-compliment my way. (“Dude your funny”) At this point I’m sure he’s feeling like we’re old pals, but the pleasantries are over… it’s time to get down to business.

The next passage has got to be nominated for the bi-polar hall of fame:

I jumped to conclusion and I apologize. I was just stressing at the moment. I don’t know who wrote the message. But Like I said, only janey knows about me and my cousin. Well besides my cousin. But I don’t think she will want anybody to know that. Did you know a little secret about janey and her cousin paola. why don’t you ask her. When you want to make fun of my past, lets talk about janeys past. Of course she’ll deny anything. And I’m not trying to mess things up between you guys. You guys seem like a nice couple. I saw all your pictures on findmimi.com. I’m really happy she found someone to love her. Cause at one point in my life I loved her very much. I prayed to God that she would find someone special and for her to be happy. And she did.

Holy crap my head is going to explode. Here is what I read, try to match your list up with mine (in chronological order):

• An apology
• His distressed mental state
• A quick note about his ignorance
• His apparent embarrassment about whatever he did with his cousin, and his desire to keep it quiet
• A backhanded dig at my girlfriend
• Defensiveness about the stranger making fun of him (me)
• A subtle hint that he would like to mess things up between Janey and I
• A compliment about how nice we look
• An earnest plea for divine intervention in his
  ex-girlfriends life.

It seems that once again Pianodude has mistakenly gotten the impression that I give a damn about anything related to him or his relationships. It may come as a hard realization, but I don’t.

That’s really as far as I want to take this little game. I hope the next time he’s tempted to write me a note, he will remember that he is nothing more then that little bug that bothers me for a few minutes while I’m mowing the lawn. It’s gone with a wave of my hand, and I never think about it again.

Pianodude,
If you ever read this, I encourage you to go out and try to find yourself someone (preferably not blood related) to share the wonderful things in life. Do your best to form a bond that can’t be broken by a note from some anonymous MySpacer. If you do something your embarrassed about, own it, don’t hide it. If someone else knows about it, they get to do with that information what they please. You, unfortunately, don’t get any input in the matter.

So go find your special someone. I have, and it’s a great thing. Janey is fantastic, and you should feel like an absolute tool for being anything but wonderful to her.

So once again, stay strong Señor Pianodude. You’ll find your someone.