Ugg boots are all the rage here in Southern California. Most of the folks who read this are from my childhood home (Utah), and they know what boots are really for. They are very simply for keeping your feet warm when it is cold. That is why I am so confused by the spread of these stupid colored furry boots known as Uggs here in the fun-in-the-sun capital of the world.

When it comes to ugg boots, there seems to be only three kinds of people. Those who love ugg boots, those who hate ugg boots, and those who just aren’t sure what ugg boots are – but, when they find out, they’ll fall into one of the first two categories. I’m absolutely in the hate group. Not because the are really that stupid… but because they are really that stupid in Southern California.

Anyway… lets address that bit about not knowing what they are.

Legend has it that “ugg” is short for “ugly” – so, “ugg boots” apparently meant “ugly boots.” For decades, “ugg” was generic term used for sheepskin boots made in Australia. The word was so commonplace that it was found in Australian dictionaries, and ugg boots were also known as “ug” or “ugh” boots.

Currently all three terms are trademarked by Ugg Holdings, Inc., an American trading name for Deckers Outdoor Corporation, the parent company of “UGG Australia.” So, when the term “ugg boot” is used, it is could be referring to an Australian-made sheepskin boot, or a boot styled after those made in Australia.

During World War I, pilots wore a fleece-lined “FUG” (flying ugg) boot, and a type of ugg boot was also worn in Australia as early as the 1930s by farmers wanting to keep their feet warm. In the 1960s Australian surfers would put on ugg boots to warm their feet after coming in from riding the waves, and people in Australia would often wear ugg boots around the house during the mild winters.

Sheepskin and ugg boots are available in short and tall styles. Women’s ugg boots and sheepskin boots are available in colors from pink and purple, to tan and brown, while men’s are available in the more neutral colors. Some have chunky heels and laces, while others are flat-heeled slip-ons.

They make thin women look fat, sexy women look frumpy, smart women look dumb. While they might indeed be “sooo comfortable,” as universally acknowledged, they lack one essential quality that ugly boots have always had: practicality. News flash: Uggs are not waterproof! Yes, you can buy an $8 protective spray—but we all know how well those work. One false move in the rain and you basically have a pair of bacteria-bearing bedroom slippers on your feet. It’s just not respectful to your fellow citizens, not to mention yourself.

I think that is about the end of what I have to say. Thanks to all those around the internet who helped me put together all these bits of info… and women of the world I implore you to please stop wearing these boots out of the house.