So something funny happened tonight. I’m not sure how to explain it… so I’ll just start typing and hope it all makes sense.

Before I really start the story I have to reveal something that is quite embarrassing. It’s something I try not to tell many people, and those who do know have only found out despite my best efforts to hide it. What is this little secret you ask? It’s simply that I do have an active account on a nasty little website called MySpace.

Before jumping to conclusions please understand that anytime I do direct my browser to said site I immediately take a piping hot shower to scald off the stench. If you don’t know what MySpace is, then please skip past this paragraph, and be happy that you have no clue. I am not going to even explain how myspace works in fear of sparking your interest. To use the catch-phrase of the year; myspace is a “social networking site”.

I heard it best described this way:
“If the internet was a bar, then Myspace.com would be the bathroom wall!”

All you really need to know is that MySpace is a website that allows people to send messages to one another.

With that out of the way… let me get to the story of tonight.

I was just minding my own business, surfing around the super high technofangled inter-web. I was reading my news, and returning a bit of email when my wonderful girlfriend said something to the effect of “have you checked your MySpace in a while”?

I, of course, cringed and said “no”.

She then said to me with mild trepidation “…you should check it”.

She spent a short time explaining what had happened/not happened, and what could possibly be waiting for me should I decide to log into MySpace. After her explanation I just couldn’t resist the temptation.

Once logging in I found a message waiting for me in bold red letters “You have a new message!”. A quick click to the inbox presents me with a subject line that nearly made my Diet Coke explode through my nasal cavity. Are you ready for this?!?

“This is what your girlfriend sent to my girlfriend.”

I was instantly thrown back to third grade when boys would often tout the strength of dads or big brothers to get them out of sticky situations. Anyway… moving on with the actual message:

From: Pianodude
Date: Feb 26, 2006 8:28 PM

(click on the link below then look at the comments, and pay close attention to the dates. Did you know he was engaged, and cheating? And one other thing, before considering this guy as a potential ‘mate’ ask him what kind of relationship he’s had with his cousin… just thought i’d help before he breaks your heart. Take it for what it is or don’t.)

My girlfriend broke up with me. Thanks be to Janey!
Why would after all these years janey would do something like this to me?

I don’t understand.

To those who haven’t connected the dots yet, this message was from Janey’s former boyfriend. He is under the impression that Janey sent this message to his, now former, girlfriend via MySpace. He’s also under the impression that I give a damn.

Now I’m not one to let such a heartfelt message go un-answered. I promptly replied with the following (of course keeping with the standard of grammatical excellence set by the original sender):

Hey Man,
Sorry to hear your Gf broke up with you. I don’t know why would after all these years janey do any sort of bad to you. Who are you?

I don’t understand either.

If I had to guess, I’d say this was the killer line:
“Did you know he was engaged, and cheating?”
Most girls would call it quits after that.

If your lonely you could always check this out [ http://kissingcousins.bardsofulysses.co.uk/ ] . This particular group is based in the UK, but I’m sure they could hook you up with a support group or something closer to home.

Your pal,
R.

I haven’t formed any conclusions about the human race after tonights events. It was just something that happened that made me laugh. If Señor Pianodude decided to send a reply, I will be sure to post it here.