You know when you run into someone that you haven’t seen in a long time. Maybe a lot has gone on since you last saw each other. It may be a good friend, or just someone you worked with. Whatever the situation was, once you’ve been apart for a long time you will be subject to the ‘quick catch up’. It usually happens when you least expect it, and when it’s most inconvenient. It will be when your both on your way somewhere in rather a hurry, but you feel obligated to listen to their life-update then give your own. For me it usually ends in sort of an awkward lull in the conversation when you both realize that your out of stuff to talk about. It’s not that you don’t have something interesting to say… it’s just that you don’t have something interesting to say TO THEM.

I have to tell you that I’m really not good with the quick catch up. I fumble on my words and usually end up with something to the effect of “same old stuff”. You see, I have issues tooting my horn about the cool stuff I’ve been involved with unless I know the other party is genuinely interested. In the 30 second re-introduction during the quick catch up, there’s just no way to know if they really want to know… or they are just being nice and waiting for their turn to give the life update.

Once again this is a post just to tell you what is on my mind. There are no conclusions, or suggestions on how to remedy what can be a strange situation. If you have your own story about the quick catch up, feel free to leave it in the comments.

Till next time.

You stupid sorry little shits.

First you threw us a sucker punch, but when our guard is up you run away like little rats. You sneak outside your sewer grates long enough to cause a stink then hide when you realize you’ve pissed someone off. You didn’t win a war, or even a battle with that stunt you pulled in New York. You hurt people who don’t even know you exist. Why? What could you possibly have thought you were going to prove?

And now your messing with our friends and I’m sick and tired of it. The people in London who were affected by those bombs aren’t who you are angry with. What in the world are you trying to prove?

Any 14 year old with internet access can build a bomb… you certainly can’t be touting any sort of intellectual superiority. And I have to imagine that you understand your little attempts to spread fear only strengthen our resolve to stomp on you on your own soil. We’re not going to run away bacause you threw a rock at us… we’re going to turn back to you and punch you in the face.

So tell us, what’s the damned message? Why are you killing people?

A few days ago when Janey and I were watching TV, We flipped the channel to one of those dramatized documentaries that get hastily thrown together when there is a ‘deeper understanding’ to be had of an issue in the main stream media. I don’t fault all the info channels for doing this, it keeps viewership up to make money for programs I really enjoy like American Chopper.

Anyway, to move my story along a bit this mini-documentary was on Scientology. The only things I really pulled from it was that these folks take vitamins, and go to therapy sessions and call it a religion. they have a fun little machine with two metal bars that a person holds onto to measure tension in their body… it really looked an awful lot like those “How strong a man are you” type machines in old video arcades. The ones that feel like they are pulsing electricity through your hands. I imagine could save on the need to build church buildings since you could have the congregation meet in the local penny arcade.

So aside from my own perceptions of these practices based on pseudo science… what’s it got to do with the post title?

Well Tom Cruise is a very outspoken member of the church of Scientology. So much so that his beliefs have been getting him in a bunch of fights lately.
Continue reading Tom Cruise is a total nut job →

So a new little issue has come to light that I would like clarification on. It has to do with the inevitable reality of dropped calls when owning and operating a mobile telephone. On average my cell phone drops one or two calls per day. Your mileage may vary of course depending on your overall call volume, and how much you move around while talking. I don’t know if my own experience is average (it seems rather high considering I live, work, and play within a 5 mile radius) but lets pretend that everyone has at least one dropped call per day.

To be quite honest the fact that the calls get dropped doesn’t annoy me too much. I completely understand the technical and atmospheric challenges my little Motorola faces each time I place a call. In addition to that, my handset is abused quite a bit. It’s really a wonder that it doesn’t just fall apart in my hands. But all that aside the real problem is this:

After a dropped call, who has the responsibility to place the return call.

Since there is no generally understood policy on this I am often caught in a frustrating cycle of calling the other party at the exact moment they are calling me back. We both end up in the “sorry I’m already on the phone” voicemail box only to quickly hang up and redial hoping the other party isn’t doing the same. If both callers are savvy with the keypad this process can repeat itself two or three times before one caller finally gives up and allows the other to ring through. This actually causes a whole new problem…

Once the ‘busy’ cycle has played itself out, all to often BOTH parties have the bright idea of just leaving the phone alone till it rings. Seconds tick passed with no ring. Each party thinks they are being the ‘fresh thinker’ and second guesses the situation. “They must be waiting for me to call them now” I tell myself each time. I would say that at least half of the time I do that, the other party has done the same thing. We shuttle ourselves back into the damned ‘busy’ cycle for at least one round.

At this point the process seems totally futile. Especially since the purpose of the phone call was to say “Hello” and “how is your day going”. If the situation plays out just like I have described above, both parties give up completely and the phone call never actually happens. It’s not really a big deal. They will end up talking at some point… but there’s got to be a better way.

So if your reading this… tell me what you think. Who gets to pick up the pieces after a dropped call?

Ugg boots are all the rage here in Southern California. Most of the folks who read this are from my childhood home (Utah), and they know what boots are really for. They are very simply for keeping your feet warm when it is cold. That is why I am so confused by the spread of these stupid colored furry boots known as Uggs here in the fun-in-the-sun capital of the world.

When it comes to ugg boots, there seems to be only three kinds of people. Those who love ugg boots, those who hate ugg boots, and those who just aren’t sure what ugg boots are – but, when they find out, they’ll fall into one of the first two categories. I’m absolutely in the hate group. Not because the are really that stupid… but because they are really that stupid in Southern California.

Anyway… lets address that bit about not knowing what they are.
Continue reading Ugg →

Given the currently dismal state of most public restrooms (at least in the united states) that I observed on a recent road trip, i am saddened but I have to write this. these are things you should have learned in kindergarten for pete’s sake, people! or at the very latest by first or second grade. and even if you didn’t, a lot of these tips are just plain common sense.

For starters, respect the bathroom. i can guarantee you that as soon as you are done using that gas station facility, there will be another person that will need to use it. i’m sure that at your home, it’s perfectly natural to pee all over the floor and leave a freshly steaming pile over in the corner by the trash can, but in a public restroom these acts are generally frowned upon.

While occupying the commode, only take and put to use the amount of toilet tissue that you require. yes, we all know how fun it is to strip the entire roll down to the tube, wad it all up into a big ball, and then use the tube as a telescope from atop your floating toilet paper pirate ship, but save it for someplace else; one not used by the general public.

Bathroom walls are walls; not internet pages or college ruled letter. it’s tempting to doodle or write your ex’s phone number on the brick, but this only makes a mess for some poor janitor to suffer removing. this also extends to writing one’s name using their own bodily waste on any surface of the bathroom; something that though may be highly regarded as ingeniously humorous to any average jr high student, is not as such by the rest of the matured adult population.

When the woefully inadequate plumbing backs up and spills onto the floor of the facility, do you:

A) Inform the person responsible for maintaining the restroom?
B) Dance about in the knee-deep sludge like a frog?
C) Sneak silently from the area and then laugh maniacally once you are several miles away?

if you answered “b” or “c,” do not pass go. and you certainly may not collect two hundred dollars.

true or false?
The floor of a bathroom is the correct location for any refuse items you have accumulated during your road trip.

i really, really hope you said “false”…

At the end of your restroom experience, it is typically considered both sanitary and extremely polite to apply a lather of detergent to your hands, and then drying them thoroughly after completely rinsing off any remaining cleanser. Especially if you happen to work in the food industry and are using the restroom during work hours. For the love of god, please.

Essentially, treat any public restroom the same as you would your own chambers, unless of course you act in the same retarded and un-sanitary manner at your home, in which case, remind me not to visit you …ever.